Melbourne versus Sydney

So a lot of my photos some how got out of order and now there's a whole bunch of them missing so here's some random ones that may not run chronologically but I'm sure no one will give a fuck. (Except possibly Ruth who's a bit pedantic about that kind of thing)

Okay so a month or two ago about a million of us went up to Sydney for the Bondi Bowlarama contest and the IGDD away game.
Mavie took me out to the airport on the motorbike. I had a huge back pack on and was sitting on my skateboard and hanging on to him for dear life. Somehow I also managed to get my camera out of my pocket to get this photo of us on the freeway.


I got flown up to Sydney by Vans to help set up an art show and to paint the wall of a shop. I stayed in a hotel with Kirby who was working up there setting everything up and looking after people. He was also drunk to the point of retardation for most of the time that we were there, but somehow managed to get everything done. Here he is in the lift.


The night I arrived Darren told me the story of how earlier in the week he'd gotten stuck in the lift in what I can only assume was a state of intoxication that even Shane McGowan would be proud of. He said he was busting so he consciously made the decision to wiss in his pants. Almost excusable I guess, if you're stuck in a lift for a decent amount of time. When I asked him how long he'd been in there he replied "about 2 minutes" Turns out he'd just forgotten to press the button.
This was only the second time I've been to Bondi so I was pretty stoked when i saw the view from the balcony of our hotel room.


Here's a photo of the geniuses (or is it genii?) that bring you Vans


The painting of the shop scenario that I was meant to go down was pretty disorganised. I guess the people at Surf Dive and Ski couldn't get their shit together so they sent me to Captain Billy's Crab Shack to paint the wall in the stair well. The Crab Shack is a sweet looking tiki themed skate shop which had a bunch of art work hanging on the wall including this gem


Here's the rest of the shop


Gibbo ukewailing with hangover shades on


Some of the painting I was doing


There was another art show happening while we were up the with Cab and Lance and a bunch of other skate dudes. My favourite piece was this one by Wade Burkitt


In the backyard of the gallery they had this hilarious fence


Sergie Ventura oozes style. Maunder said he'd probably root him if he was given the chance.
Drop in style


Bail style


I did manage to get one good photo of a backside tweaker. Luckily Jezza managed to find time in between heckling every single person who dropped in to fucked it up for me. Good dude.


Holy shit speaking of good dudes I tried to get a picture of some but Chooky Fowler, Noah and Le Head got in the way


Some one stole some of the stripes off Brucie's shirt. I'm pretty sure that's what Mavie's so stoked about, I could be wrong though. Or maybe its because Brucie is fingering his Pridetiger, either way Helen thought it was good too.


Looks like Mavie was too tight to buy beers again so he had to collect glasses to pay his tab.


Anyone for a game of hotel floor roulette? No thanks I've got to drive home.


A bunch of us ended up back at our hotel room one night. Alex kindly gave Mavie a hand to get inside.


Then he lied down and showed us his Gstring. He also got sponsored by Vans. Here's Al presenting him with a pair of stick ons (oh and if you look really carefully you'll be pleasantly surprised to see that Kirby has his shirt off! Who'd of thought)


The Box with a box - I think he was stoked to not be the most wasted dude.... that only lasted one night as you'll soon see


This was the next night I think. Boxy had been drinking heavily all day and pretty much ruling the world (even down to pissing off the back off the grand stand onto Kevin Stabb's pads)
In this photo he is getting help breaking into his kebab by the guy who made it


Kebab dude didn't have much faith in the Funky Deckbolt's ability to steer the seasoned meat log into his mouth so he put the bin under him


Satisfied customer? You tell me


Triple document?


There was a good dude convention on while we in Sydney, obviously we were no where near it.


Here's Niddy making an onion cry


Easily my favourite moment of the week end (well second favourite) was when Al got busted doing I.G.D.D. grafitti in the Beach Road Hotel. The cops came and searched him.
Perp, "Officer I'm not a real grafitti artist"
Cop, "Yeah we can tell"


JK had one of the best hats in the history of headwear


The next day we set up the art show. Here's Sean doing the robot for Jack


In this photo it looks like Jack is sticking some of our rubbish to the wall. In actual fact he is creating a master piece.


See. La penis de ressistance. I'm French as fuck.


I dont know much about art but I know what I like.... I like having a massive bar near at hand



Contest day. Shit load of people there


Obviously Niddy bought a kangaroo teste bottle opener. Brucie thought it was a couple of edible tennis balls. Fucking tourists


Shhhhh dont tell any one that Tamara stole Todd's tattoo


And Dustin got dressed up as a Neck Face drawing


Gourlay showed me his map of Tassie


And Jack showed me the Sydney foxtrot


Pedro has the best tattoo in the world SMILE FOREVER


Speaking of tatts I saw this one which was apparently inspired by a surfboard that I painted a few years ago


I went looking for Mavie one morning, no one had seen him. Eventually I ran into him in the street wearing a Tshirt, sunnies and a hat and not knowing where any of them came from. I'm not sure what the air guitar situation was for


In unrelated news how good is Fred Negro?


And how good is getting dressed up as Axel Rose?


And how good is Larry getting a cheap shoulder ride at the Iron Maiden concert (A.K.A. the best thing I've ever seen)


And how good is Mavie and Andreas not getting stabbed by Chopper

Are these really our lives?

Okay the above picture is something I drew to take the piss out of the fixed gear craze that is sweeping art galleries and fashion magazines. I actually dont have a problem with them (Most of them look fucking awesome and they're kind of fun to ride if you dont ever have to stop) but it is such a soft target I couldn't resist.
Everyone in the world should probably watch this movie about the next big thing thats gonna hit our shores just as soon as San Francisco is done with it

FIX PUSH


Anyway summer is defiantely over, here's some photos of the day we went out on a clipper ship.
As usual Nick began drinking early and came up with this amazing invention for dredging the bay - brick tied to a rake with a shoelace on the handle, genious.

Below is a picture of the ship. Incidentally I should mention that the name of the captain was Sarah. Captain Sarah was once a man but now I believe she is a woman. She sort of looked like a woman anyway although I didn't see her "galley" so i cant confirm that for a fact. She sure yelled orders like salty sea dog, which was in stark contrast to her pink toe nail polish and Gucci sunglasses


Some of the crew



I got a little snappy happy with all the ropes and what have you.
James on the other hand found something to be disappointed about

The Sea Shepherd was docked in Melbourne, I guess they wanted to take a break from saving whales and getting shot at by Japanese sailors.

Captain Sarah made us give three cheers as we sailed past.
I dont actually understand why so many Australians have a problem with the Japanese eating whales, as long as they aren't endangered. Whats the difference between eating a whale and a cow? (apart from having to buy a bigger BBQ for the steaks)
In completely unrelated news I drew this picture, not because I'm against whaling just because I thought it was funny.

We had to sail under the Bolte Bridge


Rats in the rigging


Mavie hijacked some kids' pirate flag


Speaking of dredging here's the Queen of the Netherlands which is in Melbourne for the controversial dredging of the bay. This time instead of cheering Captain Sarah made us boo. I prefered Nick's bay dredging device better anyway.


W anchor


Buccaneer offspring



So there was a rule that no one was allowed to climb the mast. For some reason there were other rules for people that did climb the mast??? They included no climbing the mast if you've been drinking and no climbing the mast with out shoes..... so of course Mavie hid his beer and borrowed my shoes and up he went.




Me Jimmy and Dave were in charge of ice berg spotting.
I didn't see any but that was probably because I didn't have a hat and glasses on.


Brucie and the Gibbos


This kid probably owns that Young Spirit boat in the back ground. He had a lot of young spirit. He also said he had 5 girl friends. I couldn't tell if Scotty was proud or jealous.


There's Captain Sarah, the one leaning over the railing making sure we didn't run into any sea cucumbers. "Steady as she goes boys"


I busted Emily stealing Nicks wallet while he was high fiving his invisible buddy. (More on Nick's imaginary friend later at a later date)


When we got back from sailing the seven seas (well to the mouth of the Yarra) we realised that the Melbourne's city buildings were performing a musical version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Raoul Duke - Suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car... and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?


Scotty has this sign above his bed now




Cards got pretty loose, here's a picture of him with Don Johnson


I cant recall exactly what was going on here but I think he was trying to sell his Esky



Mavie "found" a scooter and ripped out a wall ride



Then Angie showed him how its really done



Later that night me and James went to a party where he smoked apple flavoured tobacca through a hookah