Hey virgins, thanks for nothing

Halloween happened. I stole the idea for the flyer from Andreas' fictional band of the same name. I believe they were previously known as JFKFC. Fictional bands can pretty much change their name (and line up) when ever they want.


Anna took most of these photos. I didn't really take any. I was too busy squirting after birth at people.
As you can see below Tim had the most disturbing costume.
Fitzroy used to have a lot of these fire twirling types hanging around but none of them can afford to live there anymore so they all moved to Thailand.... or cleaned up their act and got fixed gears and decided to try living in a bikesexual relationship. That is probably not true, what would i know.

Fake Evel Knievel






James dressed as Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. He asked me to make a Huey Lewis and the News tape cover for him but all I could find was Spewy Lewis and the Booze.


Helen looked out of this world

Jeff ran this epic fishing gear two nights in a row. Didn't catch a thing.


Me and Chris had a mummy's club meeting.
Now to explain my outfit because, like usual, no one really got it.
I was meant to be a pregnant mummy, a mummy to be. I realized the retardness of the whole idea about 2 minutes into the 3 hours that it took me to get into the stupid thing. Along with my baby mummy and some fake, poorly positioned tits, I also had a cask of Banrock Station cab sav in my pregnancy bulge, which was good for squirting at people, a la Gwar, and drinking.

I made fake blood out of jelly and icing sugar this year. It wasn't very authentic but it tasted nice. Last year I learned the hard way that fake blood made of corn syrup looks good but is really sticky and will rip the hair out of your legs, and other sections of trouser anatomy, when you take your pants off. Assuming that you are stupid enough to get it in your pants.

This was taken the night before, Nick is trying to get sponsored by Baker

Yeah Melbourne, nice Halloween

Mavis not Mavie

The new Skateboarder's Journal is out. Its awesome like usual. I made a cake for it (10th issue) which Mavis ate and Gourlay photographed. This issue is worth buying for the poster alone. Jack Tarlington's 4 page megamonsterzine illustration.

Here's Pip's new film clip which Sarah was involved in. I recognise her paintings. I dont know if she animated them or not. Its real good. Keep your eyes peeled for cat mountain and the Thelma and Louise bit near the end.

Dont need nothin' but a good lime

New father Al Wilson didn't show up for International Good Day last week. I guess now that he knows he can make his own people he doesn't need us anymore. I drew on his griptape for him.

I mainly listen to talk back radio at work. Commercial radio is utter rubbish and my CD collection is getting boring. It paid off a few weeks ago when I won tickets to see Patti Smith and Sam Cutler (Rolling Stones and The Grateful Dead tour manager) interviewed by Alan Brough at the Speigel Tent. It was even better than I expected.

Then next morning I went to collect my skateboard from Yellow Bird and was lucky enough to witnessed a matinee of the Cheese and Nitty show, sans sleep. As usual, Nitty was full of compliments for all and sundry and Cheese was having a good time trying to get a good lime out of his glass. How can you not be happy while wearing a Barbara Steisand Tshirt. Timeless.



Pretty glad I wasn't involved in their slapping contest. They still had these hand marks a week later

I finally got to see the amazing wall that Nate Dog painted for Yellow Bird. Awesome.

The next day Andrew Pommier came for a whirl wind visit to Melbourne after holding an art show at the Monster Children gallery in Sydney.

Cathy Tipping finally exhibited some of her ridiculous cross stitching work. I was dumb founded at the amount of work involved in this and the accuracy. This is a life size picture of Kate, starkers. I had to get Katie to take this picture because I didn't want to be the creepy dude taking photos of nude chicks. I dont want to blow my cover. Believe it or not, this is made with a needle and thread of many different colours.

Anyone need a giant vacuum cleaner? They're pretty cheap in DePreston

This week Captain Manouvers used his laser eyes to help me cut out some grip tape for my new skateboard. Its for special occasions.

Its thirsty work. Here he is doing an imitation of Matt Maunder by draining a pool. Check the new Skateboarders Journal for pictures of the real Maunder in action.

Later Nick tried to teach him how to skate hand rails. Either he's doing a salad grind here or he thinks hand rails are stupid and he's trying to scratch Nicks face off.

We acquired a jump ramp on Saturday. Me, Nick and Rowan (Captain Manouvers' boyfriend) decided to paint a gold toothed ripper on it, Pretty awesome. Good can control Nick. Fuck the gumbys.

Later that day we ran into Blake who was celebrating his 34th birthday with a Canberra salute.

Then I saw some entrepreneurial animal cruelty. This shop was closed with no one inside except this poor old fella.

After spending most of the day drink by Fitzroy bowl with a pretty random group of people, I finished the night in the best way possible by seeing power metal band, Dragonforce, for free, thanks to Shylo. They're amazing, their fans are amazing and the fan at front of the stage that blew their hair back was amazing. Amazing. If you ever get the chance to see them I highly recommend it, they're amazing.

If you dont see the funny side of this you're probably dead

Shaving the yard

"Would you mind not mowing your lawn at 1 oclock on a Sunday afternooon please. Some of us have been taking the designer drug extacy all week end and now we are trying to sleep. Cant you just let us come down in peace?" is what I was imaging my neighbours saying as I was giving our yard a Brazillian today. As you can see from the photo below I got most of it done apart from the treacherous areas of old growth lawn around the base of Mt. Scottiosko. There were some environmental activists who chained them selves to the lawn mower. Sucks for them that it was a rental which I returned today. Their protest continues at Kennards Equipment Hire in Preston.

I've spent the past few weeks painting this Vestalife Ipod Dock for Element.
I call it Tina Burner

Al Wilson is now a proud father. I'm pretty sure the baby's name is Charlie. Thats the name we were chanting all night anyway. I tried to get him to call the little fella Ian Gavin David Darren so his initials would be IGDD. He wasn't interested. Here he is after many shots of various giggle liquids, proudly waving the saggy bag flag.

Captain Manouvers and Bob Hawke

Most people dont realise that my cat, Captain Manouvers, came up with the original idea Natas' iconic 80's skate graphic. (If you dont get this joke you're either too old or too young or too smart to give a shit about 80's skate graphics)

As America heads into election time which will hopefully lead to a new, slightly less corrupt, more intelligent, more accountable government, I have been thinking a bit about Australia's past Prime Ministers and I've decided that Bob Hawke is easily the best one. Apart from encouraging the entire country to take a sicky whilst drunk on national television, he can also slam down a yard glass faster than a thirsty Hell's Angel. For proof see the picture below (much like hips, blackboards dont lie) I think the Australian flag is kind of boring and uninspiring but how awesome does it look with that silhouette of our Bob partially obscurring it? Maybe that should be permanently added to our flag. (Or is that the one that Frankston are already using?)

Nothing to do with Mavie

Matt and Troy sent this press release through the other day. I drew the picture on the Tshirt.
I think if you click on the picture I think it will enlarge so you can actually read it. If not check out the new Element Australia website here http://www.elementaustralia.com/
While you're there have a look at the advocates pages. There's one there for me. I have to supply some better images for it but I'm stoked on it anyway. http://www.elementaustralia.com/advocates/andy-murphy/

Glen from Dunlop kindly asked me paint some Volleys a few weeks ago for that dude Strauchnie who is a character on one of the footy shows. It was an all night, rushed project but it turned out okay.

A week later Glen hooked me up with another opportunity to paint some more shoes for them. This one is apparently going to appear in Dolly Magazine. I stole the idea for the "Smile Forever" text from a tattoo that all round good dude, Pedro Day has on his chest. The day after I finished painting these I saw a Michael Seiben painting in the Juxtopoz Illustration book with the same thing written on it. I dont want people to think I stole the idea from the wrong person. I believe honesty is important when stealing. Anyway, in my opinion, they turned out a lot better than the Strauchnie ones. (I especially like the romantic lighting on the second photo)



The Stussy artist series Tshirts are being printed in November. Here's the press release that they sent out.
http://www.sneakerfreaker.com/newsflash/Stussy-X-Andy-Murphy/
I'm looking forward seeing the actual finished product.

Amongst all this business I still found some time to make up another awesome joke.

Q:What member of the weasel family loves wagging school and singing Beetles songs in the main street????

A:Ferrets Bueller.

Wow. That is gold.

I'll try to post some more pics soon including a cake I made for the best skate mag in the world, The Skateboarders Journal and a piece of electronic equipment that I have nearly finished decorating for Element.

Amber Wallis wins the Brett Whiteley Art Prize!

In ex-girlfriend related news (I'm grasping at fame here) Amber just won the Brett Whiteley Art Prize. Its kind of a big deal. I'm very proud of her. Keep your eye on this one, she's gonna go far.... at least as far as Paris, that's part of the prize.
You can see her art here
http://www.amberwallis.blogspot.com/
Hopefully she'll use some of the gigantic cash prize to get a new website.

The Stussy shirts that I designed

Click that link thing above to see some Tshirts that I drew for Stussy

Thanks Eagleby

Mavis Presley

All I've got to put on here is more Mavie propaganda, mainly because I still have not been able to sort out our internet connection problems at home. Its a total pain in the arse. Also I doubt anyone would want to read stories about sitting around drawing all the time and getting drunk on the week end. Ooohh wow you got drunk on a week end. Man I really know how to have fun hey. Still cant skate because of bad ankles. Getting old is gayer than shopping and should be avoided at all costs.
Apart from being in a passionate Scottish homosexual relationship with each other, Alex and Glen both sent me photos of Mavie on the same day. (They must have had a hissy fit and finally stopped holding hands)
Here they are with the genius captions that were sent with them.

YOUR BROTHER IS RUBBISH - MAVIE IN CAMO















AH TRABANT DAYS (Glen loves using unusual words like trabant to distract people away from his obvious love of the unfairer sex)



AYE, LOOKING GOOD SON


EVEN UGLY DUDES LOOK GOOD SOMETIMES


"HOW'S THIS RIGHT..." I especially love the way Alex is looking pleadingly at the camera as if to say "I've heard this one 4 times already and last time there no elephants in high heels"


I WONDER HOW MUCH OF THAT BIKE WILL MAKE IT BACK?


PRE ROAD TRIP CLEANSING, POINTLESS


THIS IS THE DUDE THAT LEANT MAVIE THE BIKE THAT HE IS NOW WRECKING


PROBABLY A HAIRY DADDIES SITE


SOME MEN SHOULD NEVER BE CLEAN SHAVEN


I HAVE A TOOTH GUARDIAN THESE DAYS


This from when Glen came to Melbourne and got his teeth knocked out while skating in Northcote. (The flase teeth not the John Lennon impersonator) He whipped out on a 5 foot quarterpipe and landed on his teeth on the flat. He lost his first set of falsers in the pit at a Rose Tattoo concert.
Okay I should get off Angie's computer now. Congratulations to Glen and Alex, the information I got was a bit hazy but I believe they are expecting their first child. Apparently Glen's beard has made him so virile that he can even get men pregnant. Poor old Alex will be giving birth in December. Brings new meaning to the term log splitter. Good luck with that fellas.
Oh and here's the last email that I got from Mavie

Just caught a boat .....that was blasting Maiden....full I've Iron Maiden fans drinking beer....... to an Island in the middle of the Danube...... to see Iron Maiden.... lost my wallet in the pit.... but money is highly over rated.....and it was fucking epic!!!!!!!!

This one even has a quote from "The Castle"

Here's some more information from Mavie, enjoy.

Just woke up.........
I'm in an Anarchist Warehouse that got taken over by hippies about
four years ago... it has a giant skate park in it....and I've been
staying here for the past two nights....i even have my own key???
Okay so I finally get the hell out of Macedonia, only to be stung
on the neck by another bloody wasp whilst trying to
leave...definitely time to move on. I start riding through Greece
and its all farms and nuclear power plants, strange paradise. I
find a restaurant next to a lake and order a Greek salad...when in
Rome. The sign on the door said they accept VISA so I don't bother
to ask. Turns out the guy doesn't know how to use the machine, but
he said I'm welcome to camp outside and I can fix up the bill in
the morning and have coffee. Sweet. I wake up early and see white
swans in the lake next to me...ah how nice. I pack my things and
wait for some one to turn up. Finally the boss comes and we have
coffee. I try and pay for it along with last nights dinner and he
tells me not to worry about it. Now he didn't speak English... and
I'm pretty sure he just meant the coffee was on the house...but I
couldn't get through to him I needed to pay for the salad and beer
as well. I didn't want to get the other guy in trouble so I left a
note and split. Riding through the country I was feeling bad that
so far Greece hadn't cost me cent.... then instant karma punches a
hole in my front tyre... should've waited. So that's me on the side of
the road, in the middle of nowhere, with no tools and a flat. After
trying to hitch a ride for ten minutes a taxi pulls over. He has
tools... long story, but the cabbie drives me around, pays ten
bucks for a new tube (what is it with wogs and cash?) and gets me
back on the road in no time. I begged the guy to let me buy him a
beer and pay him money for his trouble. He started shuffling
through religious cards....and said don't worry the Gods were on my
side and left. Alright time to pay these Gods a visit and find out
why I hadn't yet spent any money in Greece....off to Mount Olympia,
their old stomping ground. I arrived at the base 1100m at about
4pm. An Italian climber told me it took him about 8 to 9 hours to
get to the top and back. I had a headlamp and figured I could
easily do the decent in the dark and be back by midnight? Half way
up I met a guy from Prague who said he'd been to the top twice and
said he saw nothing because of the thick cloud cover. Also met a
serious climber who recommended that I not attempt the climb to the
peak because I didn't have the right foot wear..."your life depends
on it!!" He'd obviously never heard of the Vans waffle sole...After
a brutal hike and climb I was perched on the top of the throne of
Zeus at 2917m. The clouds cleared and the skys opened just in time to watch
the sun disappear into the mountains. I've never before seen
anything that comes close to this place. The rock formations...the
view...the light...the air, truly biblical. Right near the top there is a
section no more than 4 feet wide with a 300m drop on either
side...I crossed it on all fours. I still shake when I think about
it. A gust of wind nearly took me off on my way down and I couldn't
move for at least a minute. The Gods reminding me who's house I was
in....I made it to a refuge hut. Spent the night (for free) with a Jedi
climber who'd summitted Everest and fed me soup and liquor. I woke
the next morning on top of the mountain...incredible. I slowly
hiked down completely nackered. I rode to the City...what a
contrast. Met some skaters... they told me to go to this place
called Ifanet. Trying to find the place i dumped my bike and broke
the front brake lever. I was totally exhausted couldn't even hold
up my bike. When I arrived I met a girl that lived there and she
gave me a room with a bed and said everything was cool. Then I met
a guy working on a motorbike. I pulled my brake lever from my
pocket and told him what happened. A BMXer took me through the
warehouse to the skate park which is massive. But built buy BMXers
so unfortunately too rough to skate. It was a guys 30th and they
were having a BBQ. I was handed a beer and some meat and was told
to drink up and eat. All I wanted was sleep but it was party time.
Half an hour went buy and the guy working on his motorbike comes
through and tells me my problems are fixed...errr what. "go and
look at your bike". The dude had installed a new brake lever... he
also built the whole park from stolen wood. They convinced me to
stick around for at least another night. Ok. The party ended in a
giant water fight...good times. I'm off to check out an
Island....tell Jim Greece rules.