Sunday, 13 December 2009

Thanks for the lack of memories

I've decided to make more of an effort to update this blog, mainly because my memory has almost completely stopped working due to some epileptic spazz outs that I have had in the past year or so, therefore this blog will here by be replacing the part of my memory that I use for dumb shit.
The whole situation totally sucks but I'm on medication for it so hopefully it wont happen again. I guess that its better that people know about it... I don't know.

Okay so, from what I remember, Cass got a bunch of us in to see Slayer and Megadeth for free a while back. Thanks Cass, you're an angel.... a satanic angel, but an angel none the less.
I've never liked Megadeth but they were actually pretty entertaining. As for Slayer, they were awesome, apart from the fact that Tom Araya had lost his voice. They let one or two dudes from the crowd sing. One was okay, the other, not so much. I would have been pissed off if I'd paid $90 to see Slayer karaoke. The crowd was fucking brilliant and made up for everything. Three generations of Jim Beam drinking metal heads. (And I thought that shit made you sterile)
Here is Slayer shredding after hitting the lemsip

As I said the crowd was awesome. I didn't see any androgynous hairdresser's test pilots looking down their pretentious noses at the punters, which was quite refreshing. I guess you never get those types at metal shows. Good. Stay the fuck away. We got chatting to these dudes outside. They told me they were only 18 or something.

Of course they loved Mavie, almost as much as he loved them. If my failing memory serves me I think this was during a sing along of White Snake's "Here I Go Again On My Own"

My boss bought a whole Zebra skin, complete with sewn up holes in the side from where it had either been shot or stabbed or something

Fashion war.... Dave vs Charlotte.... lets call it a tie

Mavie busted his nose. He tried to roll under the bar during a high ollie contest while Barnaby was going over it. Barnaby landed on him and his snout hit the ground (I think)
Poor old Barnaby was more upset about it than Mavie. This is the only photo, which I took about 30 seconds after it had happened. A few days later he threw a tantrum akin, to a 13 year old girl who has just had her horse riding priveledges taken away, about any and all photos that I have ever taken of him so this maybe be the last one. Soak it up.

A few weeks later he got it operated on and I had to stay with him over night in case he drowned in his own nasal fluid or something. It was a fairly uneventful night apart from letting this guy crawl on my arm. I think Mavie was looking after it for his neighbour, which means - in a possible world first - I was nose sitting the lizard sitter.

A few months ago I heard that one of my favourite bands ever, the Spermbirds, were finally going to be coming to Australia to play. I went and bought 2 tickets even though i was broke, because i didn't want to go alone and I knew everyone would flake. At the time Mavie was over seas but by the time they played he was back in Melbourne so he got the ticket and came to see them with his freshly busted snout.
They were fucking awesome.

Al recently got his son's name tattooed on his arm

Speaking of Charlie, I went to his first birthday BBQ. How embarrassing these two showed up in the same outfit.

After Charlie had unwrapped his new car, I thought Al was going to explode with excitement. He was way more stoked than Charlie. Probably because Charlie got bored waiting for Fish and Ralph to assemble it. I think the fact that it didn't come with a Sean Sheffey ollieing over it may have confused them. Mentone driver training...

Here is the angelic Matt Merange modelling one of the Snuggies(TM) that I bought for Terri and Al as a wedding gift. And no he's not happy to see you, that's a camera.

Do you ever have one of those days when the simplest of decisions seems hard? When that happens to me I find a sensible way to compromise. See

Which frees up my brain for more important priorities such as coming up with this master piece.
How am I not a millionaire?

Captain Manouvers has begun sleeping like a kangaroo. Fucking weirdo.

At the end of October I was in an artshow called Armageddon Wasted. We set the show up on a Wednesday night, then I had some frosty beverages with these dudes because I hadn't seen them for so long. Despite the look of the set up we were DJing to ourselves through an Ipod. At one point I put on the Benny Hill theme song and we all started chasing each other around the room in what our drunken brains thought was fast forward. Then we realised the security camera was on.

God knows what the security people thought Jim was doing here with this concrete dust from the holes we drilled in the wall.

The show was great fun. Here's some pics

Close up of Dave Snow's beer chandelier

I gave my camera to Ruth for the rest of the night to take pics for me. Nice work Ruth.
I was surprised to see Becky (and Yasmine in the back ground) who I hadn't seen for many years. A few weeks later I went to an exhibition of hers. It was fucking great. Check here

Nami looked pretty stoked

Unlike these two very friendly young chaps who are trying to look intimidating. In reality they're sheep in wolves clothing

Halloween came and went. This is what I wore.

Roopa bought himself a sausage making machine. Here is Clancy sliding a few meters of intestine onto the ??? I guess you'd call it a spout. Meat tube maybe? The flesh funnel? As you can tell I'm far from an expert in the field which is why I was intrigued by the whole process. Roopa buys fresh meat and fat and other ingredients that I don't know about from the market and mashes it all up with herbs from their garden, then they squish it all into some sheep's guts.

As you can tell sausage making takes a lot of concentration and a lot of red hair

Keep squeezing them out boys

I had to leave before they twisted them in to BBQable portions, or "snags" as they say in the business.

This is what Roopa's hand looks like now. He assures me this is a non sausage related injury

I was asked to be in another art show some time in November at the Blue Tile Lounge. The theme was tikis and each artist was given a skateboard and a pair of shoes to paint. I was stuck for ideas so I decided to try my hand at carving.

I wanted the wood to look aged so I scratched the crap out of it and painted it with a combination of watered down vegemite and paint.

Masking out the bandana area

The black bits of the shirt are made from griptape

Here it is with the wood grain shoes that went with it.

Here's Niddy getting hit on by some kids mum at a skate contest. Those little koala glasses really pull the women, especially the leather clad ones.

Taking the term "vanity plates" to a whole new level

Me and Mavie saw this amazing scene on the way to see Obituary and Mindsnare play in Richmond. Broken down stretch limo receiving RACV assistance on Punt Road out the front of a brothel.

In more lizard related news I saw this 2 dimensional blue tongue lizard only a few blocks out of the city!?? He must have caught the train in

Sign outside the Black Cat. No wonder they play so much reggae music there.

After not having been to a family reunion since I was a small child I got invited to two in two weeks. The first one was at a bowls club. My cousin's car was out the front. His name is Camo. He was born in 1984. Last christmas he had a sticker on the back that had a map of Australia with the word FULL printed in it. My other cousins got so furious that he took it off.
I asked him why he has so many lights. His answer was "So I can see."

The bowls club was amazing. Being old is going to be great fun I think. Check out the awesome prizes they have. (Do you have to pay for the prize if you win it? And from what I can tell second prize seems to be worth more than first?)

And the ticket prices, one dollar each, or 5 for $5. Bargain!

The other family reunion was at Gumbuya Park. Holy crap, that place is a lawsuit waiting to happen. The rides are all crappy and the animals seemed sad. They have 15 or 16 year olds in charge of all the rides which meant that they let me ride the toboggan even though it was raining the second time i went down.

It was actually pretty fast. I bet people get hurt on that thing a lot. This is the weird contraption that gets you back to the top

You wanna have a game of cricket in the front yard? Yeah I'll just move the cars out of the way. Come back in February.

Sign of the times. Who knew?

Good name for your farm dude.

I saw this sign in Fitzroy. Pretty weird considering its full of wankers, I guess they didn't see it.

Speaking of signs I have been painting some lately. Here's one, pretty artistic hey? Shut up I need the money.

Here's another one that I've been doing for JK down in Rosebud.
Progress shot

Luckily Niddy came for a visit with two random dudes that I dont know. They were having a pretty good time being Australian as you can tell.

It was getting really hot so Niddy shed a few layers. Careful Niddy you've nearly lost your chicken skin coin purse.

It got so hot infact that I was getting sunburnt. Only one side of my body though because i was facing the sign all day. JK had no sunscreen and my socks weren't long enough, so I came up with this ingenious way to protect my leg. Again, how am I not a millionaire?

I was back down in Rosebud again this week end to paint some more of the sign. Dave and Kenny came for a visit. We went to the Rosebud pub for dinner. If you like expensive, poorly prepared, gruel in a food court environment, while being surrounded by families of large pink sweaty people, you'll love it. Obviously Dave did.

Kenny, not angry, just disappointed.

The next morning we were meant to go fishing but it was too windy. Kenny still looks pretty annoyed about the previous nights meal. Dont jump Kenny, I swear there is better things in Rosebud than the pub.

Le Wave for example

Or the never ending pier

Actually the best thing was in JK's shop. Its a model Kawasaki Ninja.

No wait, it's a telephone!!!

This is what the front of his shop is looking like so far. I haven't finished the sign at the top. I think they're going to be painting all the purple and green bits black too. I hope they do.