Wednesday, 30 July 2008

European your pants

Firstly for some news about me check this interview out

Now onto the more important shit. People have been telling me that the only content that I put on this thing is about Mavie. So I say yeah I know, thats because he is pretty much ruling the world lately. The original idea for this stupid blog was meant to be a group effort between me and him but he's too retarded to figure how to use it. Plus we sort of are both contributing, he's out there being hilarious and I'm passing the news on to his fans. Yes he has fans, and much like Paris Hilton, nobody knows why. Mavie is basically Paris Hilton. Hopefully he'll get his own TV show where he goes around giving people shit with the offspring of an 80s pop star.

I got an email from him a few days ago which had the NET BAHDAH as the subject. I actually understand some of the Mavie dialect so I can translate that for you. It means "not bad." You kind of have to scream it a bit and drag the vowels out so that each syllable, becomes three or four syllables long.
Anyway here's what he had to report.

Okay I'm in Macedonia..... I'll try and be brief. The rest of
Croatia, Bosnia and Montenegro stories will have to wait...that
whole area is one of the best places I've ever been and I was sad
to leave. East was the mission... but Kosovo had just became a
republic and for Grandmas sake I didn't go. Only other option was
Albania...mmm. Maybe don't tell Grandma bout that one either. Getting in,
was not a problem. The guard asked me for ten bucks, I gave him 2,
no worries. I stopped at the first town which was sketchy but
amazing. I pulled over at a servo to reload my camera.
(I dont get this bit because I bought him a digital camera before he left... I wonder if he has been jamming rolls of film in it?)

An old dude covered in gold sits down next to me. Tells me he owns the whole
place. I decided not to get the camera out. Communicating was
difficult but I thought everything was relatively normal, him half
yelling Albanian and me smiling. Then he yanks a three inch thick
wad of American hundred dollar bills out of his pants and slams it
on the table...errr. I casually straddled my motor and got the hell outta
dodge. Later that day I met a family from Wales that insisted on
buying me lunch and a beer...okay. Then when they were leaving this
woman slips me a wad of Lekes and runs off. What is it with wads
of cash??!! Turns out it was enough for a room by the beach and a
hot shower. Neh camping for me. The next morning I rode through the
mountains..the wild west of Europe. Needed fuel. Servos
everywhere. The ones that weren't burnt down or abandon wouldn't
take plastic...and of course, I had no cash on me. My only hope was
to head for Macedonia. That part of the country is
completely lawless and I sure as hell wasn't up for camping in it.
I get to the border and the Macedonians want 50 Euros for bike
insurance and didn't take plastic either. Greece was 300 km's
further south and it was getting late. A huge fight broke out
between the guy that was trying to help me and a pissed off
Albanian. It got physical and all the guards dragged the dude into
a room. I couldn't do anything because the guy had my passport. Along
comes two backpackers from Holland. I explain my situation. They lend me 50 Euros cash. I gave them my camera till they got their
money back. I got through the border and followed them in a taxi
15km to the first town. Half way there I suddenly realized my
wallet was missing. I flagged em down. They told me to go back and
they'll meet me in town. I gun it back to the border. My wallet is
on the ground about to be run over by a truck. I grab it. It has
another mans foot print on it. I'm in shock. I fly back to town to
meet the Holland backpackers. I find them. I go to a cash machine
give em their dough and buy them a beer. They were on there way to
Iran to try and get out of an arranged marriage that one of them
was involved in...anyway that night I camp out on a lake. Next day
I swim and visit some ruins. I needed to get my 50 Euros worth. So
I completely ignore the approaching storm and fire up the biggest
mountain I can find in search of a bear. Half way up I'm sitting in
a bar/shop waiting for the rain thunder and lightening to stop. Along comes Nikola. 69yr old man from Perth?? He gave me a place to crash and sent me up a
muddy track to the tallest peak in the country. The bike almost
made it. I gave it a rest and hiked the last section on foot.
Absolutely amazing....but no bear. Got lost coming down and it took
me for ever to find my bike. I readjusted my back brake and skidded
my way down through ice, mud and rocks. Spent the night on Nikola's
farm, gold. So this morning I'm up and out by 7am. Quick stop to
fill up and off to Greece. But credit card!! and you
guessed it, no cash!!! Oh shit! Think....the last place I used it
was in that cash machine two days ago...80km's through the
mountains. ARGH!!! I give the servo attended my camera and head
back through the mountains, which is a pretty sweet ride. I get to
the bank and they tell me they have it, but they need a fax from
ANZ in Oz..I phone them..they won't do it and want to cancel the
card...I hang up on them and start begging...the women tells me to
come back in 90 mins and she'll try and pull some strings. Strings
got pulled and I get my card back....I love Eastern Europe... I'm
off to Greece

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